I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
