And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize