Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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