okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
