we have officially lost it.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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