I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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