Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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