She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
