remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
