His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
True strength comes from lack of pants
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize