I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
