My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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