Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize