if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
