she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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