my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
