she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
How naked do you want me to be?
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