Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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