You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
