well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
