I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
