Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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