my mouth tastes like poor choices
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
