you would pick up someone in the library
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize