i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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