I think I am morally bankrupt
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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