My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
