You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We got so high we made milksteak
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
