god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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