is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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