what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
