U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
