i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
