To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
