Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
