So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize