Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
