apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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