I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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