ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
