Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
