Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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