I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize