dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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