I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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