how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
