Buhtt sex?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize