That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
