That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I wear drunk well.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
