I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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