Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
