I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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