im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Randomize
