Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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