2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
