It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The uberlube is also flammable
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
