Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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