I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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