an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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