I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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